So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
