this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
