Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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