Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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