And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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