After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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