also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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