After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
