I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
