I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
