So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
