Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
