I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize