He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
