I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
