Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
