Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
