you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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