I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
