Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
