There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
