Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
