Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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