you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
