This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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