Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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