Tell her she can't have a vagina
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize