it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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