if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
