I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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