splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
my poor anus
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
