Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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