Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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