in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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