it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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