He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
