I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
