ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The Olympian is in my bed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize