im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize