he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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