I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize