I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
