Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
