3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Don't EVER smell your tampon
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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