You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
