Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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