At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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