at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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