my vag is so smooth its legendary
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
