whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
