It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
