yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
