I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
