Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
