Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize