Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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