Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
