Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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