She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
