so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
