she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
