Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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