Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
