Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
