i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
